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Litigation. Collaborative Law. Mediation.

Taking the High Road in a Divorce


Although you cannot control the frustrating behavior of your spouse and his or her family, you can control your behavior and how you dealing with them. During the divorce, here are some things to remember:

  • Resist the urge to make negative comments about your spouse and spouse’s family on social media.
  • If your spouse and/or spouse’s family lied to portray you negatively, do not respond with lies or exaggerations of your own. Dishonestly fosters distrust and antagonizes the situation, tarnishing your credibility as well.
  • Do not prevent contact between your child and your spouse, unless exceptional circumstances justify such actions, such as where there is a court order, restraining order or domestic violence. A custodial parent’s ability to facilitate a relationship with the other parent is of paramount importance to the Court and unjustifiably frustrating that relationship may jeopardize your standing with the court.
  • After a divorce, parenting with your ex presents unique challenges. There are ways to approach these challenges without causing hostility.
  • Be mature and find ways to cooperate with your ex, even when he or she is being difficult.

Figure out what problems are recurring and think creatively to devise a solution. For example, you cannot change that your ex is always late, but you could arrange your schedule so that you do the drop-off instead. Or you could tell your ex an earlier pick-up time.

An experienced New York attorney is crucial in developing the most effective strategy for your divorce, whether it be through mediation, collaborative law or litigation.