Skip to Content
Litigation. Collaborative Law. Mediation.

Jessica L. Toelstedt

Jessica L. Toelstedt Photo
Jessica L. Toelstedt Partner & Co-Chair of the Mediation & Collaborative Law Practice


Jessica L. Toelstedt joined the predecessor firm Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP (now Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein, LLP) in 2012 and was named partner in 2016. Ms. Toelstedt’s practice focuses on mediation, collaborative law and litigation. Ms. Toelstedt also specializes in drafting Pre- and Postnuptial Agreements and has significant experience working with high-net-worth individuals.

Ms. Toelstedt was exposed to matrimonial law at an early age when as a young teen her own parents were divorced. Having dealt with a parent that had a history of drug and alcohol abuse, Ms. Toelstedt learned firsthand the importance of representing a client going through what may be one of the most difficult times in their lives and the lives of their children.

Ms. Toelstedt began her career focusing on litigating matrimonial matters and since then has appeared regularly in Supreme and Family Courts throughout New York City and the surrounding areas. Ms. Toelstedt has also handled appellate matters and argued the landmark case Fields v. Fields in the Appellate Division of the First Department. After having spent nearly the first half of her career litigating matrimonial matters, Ms. Toelstedt expanded her practice to include process choices that can address family matters outside of court, without litigation.

Ms. Toelstedt has been trained as a mediator by The Center for Understanding in Conflict and regularly mediates all matters related to marriage and family law.

Ms. Toelstedt is the Chair of the Pre-Marriage Mediation Law Practice within the firm and is now offering couples this new and invaluable service. Pre-Marriage Mediation offers couples a supportive environment where they can discuss what type of financial partnership they envision having as a married couple and how that “vision” may or may not differ from what New York Law says would happen in the event a divorce or death. For example, a fiancé(e) who accumulated a great deal of wealth before marriage may realize that they need a prenuptial agreement to ensure that premarital assets are protected. In other situations, the couple may be wondering what happens if they receive a gift from family to purchase a home or inherit a property where they plan to reside as a family. If the couple has answers to these types of questions before their marriage, they can plan appropriately so that in the unfortunate event of death or divorce, the outcome will be the result of careful and thoughtful consideration. Given the trend of marrying a bit later in life, it is even more important in today’s world for couples entering into a marriage to understand the impact of their legal union. We are offering couples the opportunity to combine the concept of premarital counseling with mediation, providing couples a forum in which they can learn about how New York law will impact them financially as a married couple.

Ms. Toelstedt also mediates prenuptial agreements, postnuptial agreements, separations, divorces, post-divorce/separation issues, custody, child support matters and agreements for unmarried partners that may have accumulated assets together or wish to sign confidentiality agreements to prevent sensitive matters from becoming public. Ms. Toelstedt also offers her clients services as a consulting attorney, for when they are pursuing the mediation process with an outside mediator.

Ms. Toelstedt has been trained in collaborative law by The New York Association of Collaborative Law Professionals and regularly represents clients who wish to obtain a divorce or separation using the Collaborative Law Process, utilizing a formal participation agreement.

Sometimes clients do not feel that they are a good fit for mediation or the Collaborative Law Process, and in those instances, Ms. Toelstedt will provide direct representation to her clients with the goal of reaching a resolution outside of court.

In addition, Ms. Toelstedt focuses on drafting Pre- and Postnuptial Agreements and specializes in negotiating and drafting such agreements for high net worth individuals. Pre- and Postnuptial agreements can be reached through the process of mediation, with Ms. Toelstedt either acting as the mediator or the consulting attorney. Other times, Ms. Toelstedt provides direct representation to clients looking to protect their interests prior to or after marriage. Ms. Toelstedt understands that the negotiation and drafting of these agreements requires a more measured, cooperative approach, as the parties involved are either entering or maintaining what will hopefully be a long-lasting and happy marital relationship.

Ms. Toelstedt’s reputation for high ethical standards and professional ability among her fellow attorneys has earned her the highest peer rating, AV Preeminent, from Martindale-Hubbell, which has also named her a “Gold Client Champion” from 2017 to present. Ms. Toelstedt was voted a New York Family Law Rising Star by her peers from 2014 through 2016 and as a New York Family Law Super Lawyer by her peers from 2017 to present.

Ms. Toelstedt also serves as a Mediator on the Court Roster of Matrimonial Mediators for the Supreme Court of New York in New York, Kings and Richmond County and is the Vice President of the Board of Directors for the Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York. Ms. Toelstedt resides on Long Island with her husband and two children.

Areas of Practice

  • Pre-Marriage Mediation
  • Divorce Negotiation
  • Postnuptial Agreements
  • Prenuptial Agreements
  • Divorce Mediation
  • Divorce Litigation
  • Equitable Distribution
  • Marital Agreements
  • Separation Agreements
  • Spousal Support
  • Child Custody
  • Child Support
  • Alimony
  • Marital Property Distribution
  • Marital Property Settlements
  • Paternity
  • Post-divorce Actions
  • Appeals


  • University of Buffalo Law School 
  • University of Buffalo 

Admitted to Practice Law

  • New York State, 2006

Professional Memberships

  • New York Association of Collaborative Professionals
  • New York State Bar Association
  • New York State Women’s Bar Association
  • Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York (Board Member 2020 to present, Vice President – 2023)
  • Nassau County Bar Association
  • Suffolk County Bar Association

Honors and Recognitions


Community Involvement

  • AV Preeminent - Jessica
  • Martinale Hubbell - Jessica
  • Super Lawyers - Jessica
  • Collaborative Professionals - Jessica

    Quotes and Publications

    Call Us Today (212) 466-6015
    • Please enter your first name.
    • Please enter your last name.
    • Please enter your phone number.
      This isn't a valid phone number.
    • Please enter your email address.
      This isn't a valid email address.
    • Please make a selection.
    • Please enter a message.
    • By submitting, you agree to be contacted about your request & other information using automated technology. Message frequency varies. Msg & data rates may apply. Text STOP to cancel. Acceptable Use Policy